Calling Your Sphere – The Ethical Approach

Written by Suze, January 11th, 2018

Last week’s blog – Is Calling Your Sphere Unethical, received a ton of engagement. Thank you. I think the conversation about ethics matters at this junction in the evolution of the real estate sales business.

Ethics is difficult to define.  Philosophers and thought leaders have spent thousands of years debating right and wrong behaviour.  There is no one answer on this and each of us uses our own values to judge the merit of our own and others actions.

Real estate agents carry a reputation as being pushy, salesy and unprofessional.  Are we? I’ve never met a REALTOR® who feels that they fit this description and yet the reputation endures.

I do feel that if you call the people that you know and like, and use a script to manipulate them into helping you make money, many would feel that this is wrong behaviour – hence, unethical.

And yet, our personal sphere is now known as our fastest source of business opportunities – overtaking FSBO’s in recent years.

So how do we reconcile this tension?

We stop using scripts, we stop exploiting our sphere and we start having “deliberate conversations” that are founded in respect, curiosity and authentic caring with the people that we know and like.

Yes, it’s more difficult to learn the high-level communication skills needed to master the “deliberate conversation” than it is to read a script but it’s also a hundred times more effective, infinitely more authentic, completely comfortable once mastered and ethical by most standards.

A “deliberate conversation” is both a mindset and a process. Mastering this skill will take time and effort but significant benefits of this approach can be realized immediately.  Both you and the people you are talking with will feel more comfortable, defensive walls will dissolve, trust will build and business opportunities will flow.

We’ve developed a model within our coaching program around Deliberate Conversations. This is important enough to us, that we’ve decided to make it available to everyone. You can see it here.



2 Responses to “Calling Your Sphere – The Ethical Approach”

  1. Brandon Guile says:

    Become your shere’s valuable asset. ProvIde them with Value. Market data, local news, humour, give them something. If you do that on a regular basis all of your sphere including family will champion you and your professional business. Give and you shall receive. If you conscientiously do that on a regular basis, putting them first, helping and offering regular sagely advice it is not unethical to ask for their help. Building a business is a two way street.
    Once your the trusted source in your sphere this question will be moot because your sphere will want to send all potential business your way because people innately like to refer people to great services. It’s a connection thing. I use them, you should to. Friends like helping friends.

  2. Dan hartwick says:

    Though Shall Prosper by Daniel Lapin maybe a good book for any business person to read.
    Our purpose is to ‘serve’ people and hopefully serve them well to be thought of to deserve referrals. Ongoing dialogue with our sphere makes referrals quite natural, just as we refer services to them and others. What goes around will come around… that’s how it seems to work, whether it’s good or not so good.

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