People don’t like to be sold. And, people don’t like to be told.

Many agents try to impress prospects and clients with how much they know.  This will drive potential clients away because people care a lot less about how much you know, than how much you care.

To show you care, you must care.  Truly, deeply, and non-selfishly care about the outcome for them.  This doesn’t mean denying your needs, but it does mean working diligently for a win/win outcome.

To achieve a win/win outcome you will need to uncover their needs, wants, and desires.  Most of us make the assumptions that other people’s needs, wants, and desires are like ours and so we tell them the answers.  Only, we can often be wrong, because everyone is different. And, if we don’t take the time and use our skills to uncover their needs, wants, and desires we likely won’t win their business.

Imagine you are in conversation with an older gentleman about a possible move. He’s been in his home for 40 years, his wife has passed and he is considering a condominium.  He has many concerns. You are working with him to overcome those concerns.  He mentions that he has an extensive wine cellar and has no idea what he will do with it.  You answer that you have a friend in the business who would have no problem selling the wine cellar.  Suddenly, his energy shifts, the conversation becomes less natural, and 15 minutes later you are driving back to the office with no future appointment.  What happened?

You told him what to do, without understanding what mattered to him.  From his frame of reference it felt uncaring, it broke off the rapport you had built with him. You may be able to rebuild it or you may not.  If you make these errors consistently, selling real estate will be very difficult.

So, what mattered to him?  It could be many different things, but in this case he wanted to keep the wine cellar and enjoy it.  Entertaining mattered to him. Friends, young and old, gathered at his table weekly to share their stories, revel in good music, and enjoy fine wine.  Without this element of his life intact, he wouldn’t be ready for a move.