Dear Zuess,

What gives?  I was at a coffee shop yesterday and watched an agent get a new client out of thin air.  Someone walked up to her and asked if she was in Real Estate –  like, really.  Give me a break – why didn’t they walk up to me?

Mark

Dear Mark,

Thanks for writing.  That sound frustrating but it happens more often than you think.

I really like the metaphor you used.  Thin Air.  It begs the question, “Did that person really appearout of thin air or was there something else at work here?”  One possibility is that the agent is well known and people speak with her when she is out and about although that doesn’t seem to be the case here.  My experience is that some people exude a positive, enthusiastic and professional aura that other people can’t resist.   Some new age thinkers call it the law of attraction while old schoolers’ may refer to it as magnetism. It’s part of human nature and It’s not magic and it’s not inherent.  It is something we can learn.

Interested? Read on.

This aura comes from your mindset and a mindset is defined as:

An attitude, disposition or mood

A fixed mental attitude or disposition that predetermines a person’s responses to and interpretations of situations.

So your mindset influences how you think and feel, and therefore how you act and behave.  This in turn impacts how other people see you and feel about you.  Pretty important stuff in the world of professional sales.

We can learn to choose our mindset. It isn’t easy, but it’s important and it’s possible.  We normally switch between a mindset of closed, judgmental or negative and one that is open, curious or optimistic.  We tend to default to the first more often, especially when we are tired, stressed, anxious or uncomfortable. We may find ourselves in the latter when things are going well for us.   One of the many awesome things about being a human being is that we have the ability to think about the way we think.  This is called metacognition. It is because of this metacognition that we have the ability to change habits and change the way we operate in the world.

Merely having awareness around metacognition and mindset opens the door to us being able to be deliberate about our own mindset in the moment and attract more clients.

For example; you are in the coffee shop with a friend and you are in a closed negative mindset.  You are complaining, your body language is one of low energy and you are completely focused on yourself.  Any clients appearing out of thin air?

Now imagine this; you are in the same coffee shop with the same friend but you are open, curious and aware.  You are engaging in interesting conversation with your friend,  you are smiling, even laughing a little bit, you’re body language is full of positive energy and you are aware of others in the coffee shop.   Different?  Any chance of attracting people now?  I’m not promising it will happen every time but I can promise this:  It will never happen when your mindset is closed, negative and judgmental.

To begin the process of shifting your mindset on demand, try this exercise.  Set an alarm on your smartphone for three different times each day.  When the alarm goes off, take a few moments and ask yourself, what is my mindset right now?  Is it serving me well?  If not, what mindset would I like to be in?   Have fun!