The biggest learning from our negotiation mastermind group this month has been that managing our own emotions is critical to being a master negotiator. It gives us the opportunity to objectively observe what is going on with all the parties to the negotiation.

Real estate is often emotional for the people buying and selling. It’s their home, a reflection of who they are and often a big part of their identity. Add in the growing gap between buyer and seller expectations as markets transition and then throw a competitive negotiator or worse yet, an untrained one into the mix and things can get pretty heated.

The number one thing that can derail a perfectly doable real estate deal is emotions and one of our most important responsibilities as professional negotiators is to make sure that this doesn’t happen – and this means managing the emotions of all the parties to the negotiation, starting with our own.

It’s not easy. There is a reason that all great leadership journeys begin with self-reflection and self-knowledge and our journey to mastery of negotiations is no different. We need to be confident enough in who we are and what we know to set ourselves aside and be totally present for the people we serve. This is one of the pre-eminent factors to being a master negotiator. It’s not that you don’t care, it’s that you do. You care enough to make it all about them and not at all about you.

“You care enough to make it all about them and not at all about you”

Confidence comes from competence. To manage our own emotions so that we can be the pillar of objective observation in our negotiations we need to trust our negotiation skills, have access to our emotional intelligence and be comfortable with professional empathy.

Never stop learning!