Get Under the Stand to UnderStand People Better.

We are all beginning to settle into our new normal and most of us are feeling a kaleidoscope of emotions.  Those emotions range from relief and excitement to sadness and confusion and many in between.   It’s a complicated time.

Awareness of this emotional complexity is important when we are helping people make important decisions about real estate.  The agent who can have meaningful conversations that get below the surface with people are the ones who are going to earn the right to represent them.

In the CNE courses, we work with the SAM Model and it has never been a more valuable tool than right now.  When people are feeling strong emotions and/or uncertainty, their stands and positions tend to be stronger.

• I don’t need to sell
• I’m not giving my property away
• I’ll only buy if I can get a really good deal
• I’m not signing a buyer’s agreement
• I won’t pay more than $xx
• That offer is too low. There is no way I would ever sell for that.

It’s human nature to be more defensive when challenged but a skilled agent can quickly build the trust needed for people to open up and have more meaningful conversations.

People will be making moves in the Post Covid-19 world but the reasons for their moves may be different than before.   It could be due to financial stress, marriage breakdown, the need to house family members, a desire for more space or a different lifestyle.  Many people will see the world differently coming out of this then they did going in.   This might be a good thing but many will lack clarity on what their housing needs are in the new normal.

 

We can help but only if they trust us enough to share their thoughts and feelings with us. 

To build that trust, they need to know that you care about them, that you understand them and that you have no agenda for them.   If they even get a whiff that a deal is important to you, they’ll clam right up.

Here’s what you can do to ensure you are having meaningful conversations that will lead to high quality relationships and more real estate business.

 

• Have no agenda for them. If it is not in their best interest to move or to move now, support that decision.   It will come back to you tenfold.
• Be financially secure – if you need a real estate transaction really badly you will have terrible BATNA breath and scare people away.
• When you hear a stand, position or something unreasonable, see it for what it is. It’s the S (Stand)  in the SAM model and it’s the perfect opportunity to ask genuine questions to learn more.  We can’t help if we can’t get under that Stand to the Area of Concern.
• Ask one question at a time and listen for the answer. It sounds simple but in practice, it’s not.  Try it.  One Question and then be quiet and truly listen to what they say.
• Generate the next question from what they say, not from your internal dialogue. If they share something significant with you and you then ask an unrelated question, trust will be lost.
• Once you have uncovered the Area of Concern – or what’s truly going on with them, you may need to go below that to the Motivator or emotional driver. This can be an uncomfortable place for all of us but in many situations, this is where the decision to move forward will come from.

 

Building the trust that is essential to good business relationships doesn’t come from techniques, models or scripts.  It comes from a mindset of curiosity that is deeply seated in professional empathy.