Got your attention?
It’s old like the electric typewriter, the dial up phone or smoking cigarettes. (Can you tell I’ve been watching reruns of Mad Men?)
Sales calls were meant to trick, coerce and manipulate the receiver into allowing an opening for the salesperson to jump in and sell them something they may or may not have needed. They involved, scripts, techniques and tricks that interestingly, sometimes worked. They were designed to service the salesperson and not the client. But this practice didn’t build great businesses and it certainly didn’t build a lot of respect for salespeople in general and real estate salespeople specifically. This approach is 2-dimensional, self-serving and narcissistic.
In short, it’s salesy.
Stop pushing your scripts down their throats and start having conversations.
Not just any old conversations, but deliberate conversations which have the intention of learning about the other person and discovering if they may be in need of your services.
It is human nature to connect with other people. The reasons people resist this connection are diverse but many times it is because they feel we are disingenuous in our intentions. In simple language – they feel we are going to pressure them to sell their house or to refer us to their friends and family.
Heck, I’d be defensive too- wouldn’t you?
So, what is a deliberate conversation and how does it differ from a conventional conversation? If you are at a cocktail party and you are talking with someone, you typically alternate between speaking and listening. Many people will spend their allotted listening time developing their next thought to speak, thereby missing much about what the other person said. Typically this leads to a meandering conversation that jumps from topic to topic without any real meaning, communication or connection. A deliberate conversation, on the other hand, is when at least one of the parties is a highly skilled communicator and has the intention and skills to guide the conversation in a way that makes it interesting, engaging and enjoyable. A deliberate conversation will build human connection.
The key factors to creating deliberate conversations are
- An underlying mindset of curiosity. Entering the conversation with the thought, “I don’t know anything about this person” instead of letting our first impressions or unconscious biases interfere with our opportunity to understand their uniqueness.
- Giving up the part of you that wants to be more important or more knowledgeable than the other person.
- Listening intensely to the other person. Not just what they say but how they say it, what they don’t say, as well as their body language and other nonverbal cues.
- Ask good questions that arise from what they have said and help to direct the conversation in a direction meaningful for both you and your conversation partner.
- Be present, attentive, polite and genuinely interested in them.
- Learn to detect when you have developed a connection with a person. This occurs when the defensive walls begin to dissolve.
- Allow the conversation to turn to real estate. If they feel a connection to you they will likely ask what you do. If they don’t, ask them what they do.
- Hold the intention that your objective is to build trust and connection. Once this is established, the business relationship will evolve naturally.
- Be polite but direct about business. You are interested in servicing their needs.
Drop the scripts and tricks and begin to build meaningful relationships with people. We are in the connection economy and if you don’t master these skills you will be left behind.
Earn the right to Move More People© by mastering the skills of human interaction.