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On Being Likeable – 7 Important Factors

Suze Cumming | September 24, 2020

People hire REALTORS® they Like.  So, what makes someone likeable?

We like people who make us feel comfortable and at ease; people who accept us the way we are, understand and appreciate us.   Likeable people understand the importance of being genuine, connecting authentically and seeing the world through another person’s lens.

Likability can be learned just like any other skills.

Let’s start with these 7 factors

  1. Have an open, curious and friendly mindset.

Other people are trying to get a read on you.  If you come across as fake, snobby, indifferent or superior they will become disinterested quickly.   Even if it’s unintentional, this is a huge strike against likability.

Have an open mindset about who they are and how they see the world.  Be authentically interested in their perspective.  Be kind and friendly without any threads of one-upmanship or judgement.

  1. Listen deeply.

Most of us only half listen to people when they speak because we are busy thinking about what we are going to say next and how we can  jump into the conversation.  This makes people feel that we don’t care.   Learn to actively listen to both the words spoken and what lies between the words.

When people feel heard, they feel cared for.

     3. Make it all about them, not you.

We all love to take the spotlight sometimes but people who are focussed on getting attention and talking about their own experience, are missing the opportunity to hear other people’s stories and connect authentically with them.

     4. Align with their body language.

We naturally align with those around us if we are tuned into their movements.  Whether it’s a smile, a slow tone of voice or a relaxed body posture, when we align physically with someone, it helps them feel more comfortable and at ease with us.    This naturally happens in babies who copy the facial expressions of people around them.

It helps people feel that we are on the same wavelength as they are.

  1. Ask questions that show you care.

Asking questions that have no attached agenda and that show that you are genuinely interested in their answer, will build trust and connection.   Let’s be honest,  people love talking about themselves and when you ask and then listen deeply, your likability goes way up.

  1. Be reliable, even-tempered and consistent.

Being moody, gloomy or unpredictable will wipe out likability pretty quickly.  We don’t want to deny our feelings but managing them is crucial to being liked.   If you are having a bad day, it might be best to just nod and smile or take the time you need to improve your persona.

This isn’t the same as being artificially optimistic.  The world is a complicated place and being real needs to be balanced with managing your emotions.

  1. Align your actions with your words and values.

When there is a disconnect between what you say and what you do, you lose trust quickly.  People feel unsure of your intentions and this will cause them to step back from you.

Make a point to have clear intentions, know your values, say what you mean verbally and have your actions and body language align with them.

In real estate, we want to attract people who will trust us to represent them in one of the biggest transactions in their life.   Likability is the critical first step to earning that honour.

On Being Likeable – 7 Important Factors

Suze Cumming | September 24, 2020

 

People hire REALTORS® they Like.  So, what makes someone likeable?

We like people who make us feel comfortable and at ease; people who accept us the way we are, understand and appreciate us.   Likeable people understand the importance of being genuine, connecting authentically and seeing the world through another person’s lens.

Likability can be learned just like any other skills.

Let’s start with these 7 factors

  1. Have an open, curious and friendly mindset.

Other people are trying to get a read on you.  If you come across as fake, snobby, indifferent or superior they will become disinterested quickly.   Even if it’s unintentional, this is a huge strike against likability.

Have an open mindset about who they are and how they see the world.  Be authentically interested in their perspective.  Be kind and friendly without any threads of one-upmanship or judgement.

  1. Listen deeply.

Most of us only half listen to people when they speak because we are busy thinking about what we are going to say next and how we can  jump into the conversation.  This makes people feel that we don’t care.   Learn to actively listen to both the words spoken and what lies between the words.

When people feel heard, they feel cared for.

     3. Make it all about them, not you.

We all love to take the spotlight sometimes but people who are focussed on getting attention and talking about their own experience, are missing the opportunity to hear other people’s stories and connect authentically with them.

     4. Align with their body language.

We naturally align with those around us if we are tuned into their movements.  Whether it’s a smile, a slow tone of voice or a relaxed body posture, when we align physically with someone, it helps them feel more comfortable and at ease with us.    This naturally happens in babies who copy the facial expressions of people around them.

It helps people feel that we are on the same wavelength as they are.

  1. Ask questions that show you care.

Asking questions that have no attached agenda and that show that you are genuinely interested in their answer, will build trust and connection.   Let’s be honest,  people love talking about themselves and when you ask and then listen deeply, your likability goes way up.

  1. Be reliable, even-tempered and consistent.

Being moody, gloomy or unpredictable will wipe out likability pretty quickly.  We don’t want to deny our feelings but managing them is crucial to being liked.   If you are having a bad day, it might be best to just nod and smile or take the time you need to improve your persona.

This isn’t the same as being artificially optimistic.  The world is a complicated place and being real needs to be balanced with managing your emotions.

  1. Align your actions with your words and values.

When there is a disconnect between what you say and what you do, you lose trust quickly.  People feel unsure of your intentions and this will cause them to step back from you.

Make a point to have clear intentions, know your values, say what you mean verbally and have your actions and body language align with them.

In real estate, we want to attract people who will trust us to represent them in one of the biggest transactions in their life.   Likability is the critical first step to earning that honour.

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