“I don’t want to be irritating.”

“I don’t want to be salesy”

“I don’t want to be ‘that guy’”


These statements come up in many of my conversations with phenomenal REALTORS ©.

All right, fair enough. But let’s unpack what it means to be those things.

The irritation and defensiveness we see in our prospects are reactions to deeper emotions, and most often come up when we force sales into a conversation. When you disjoint a conversation to talk about business, the problem isn’t the business talk, it’s the disconnect. It pulls people out of their experience, triggers their memory of every bad salesperson they’ve met, but most importantly, reveals to them that you weren’t paying full attention and were instead thinking about your own agenda.

So how do we avoid this? By truly paying attention.

You’ll find that sales does have a natural place in conversations. In it’s authentic form, sales is simply offering something to people that is valuable enough that they will pay for it; in Real Estate, your expertise, guidance, negotiation skills, and service. The natural place to offer this is when the person you’re talking to chooses to reveal that they may need it.



The natural place for sales talk will not be on the surface. Listen, be curious, give people space to process, ask questions that are meaningful to them, and you will see that if there is a harmonious opportunity to work together, it will surface.

A final tip: when you open the door t0 offer your service, share that you’re in Real Estate, or plant any seed that could lead to business, don’t bask in silent success. Stay engaged with the conversation, move forward, learn more, and stay curious.

P.S. Can’t find authentic curiosity about your prospects? Maybe we should do some work to figure out what’s getting in your way.